Confidence. Nobody is born with all the confidence in the world. Over time we create confidence as we have WINS with the things do. Confidence comes from seeing success and wins in the areas that we put attention on. What area do you want to build confidence in? We all HAVE IT- it’s just a matter of how confident we feel in a specific area. Want more confidence as a better cook? Get in the kitchen and COOK. Want more confidence in your relationship? Work ON them! Want more confidence in yourself? Work on YOU! Let’s dive in to a few ways mama can build up our LO’s confidence AND work on her own too!
Build Your Toddlers Confidence:
Don’t Play the Comparison Game: You never want to play the comparison game and compare your child to others- whether its other children in their class or worse, an overachieving sibling. You want to focus on what makes your LO special and his/her individual skills. Maybe he isn’t great at baseball but loves to paint/draw. Get them involved in the activities they excel at and put attention on that.
- Watch What You Say: When your child is feeling or expressing an emotion – make sure you are speaking to the EMOTION not the CHILD. EX: Instead of saying your daughter is shy/quiet/ etc you want to say “You feel shy right now” There is a difference between BEING and FEELING. Saying ‘You feel’ is better than saying ‘You are,’ because it names a momentary state, rather than your child’s being,”
- Show Them The Way: Kids love to mimic our behavior so whatever you would like your child to do YOU need to do this and show them the way. I love taking Jakey to Target or the grocery store and having him say “Hello! My name is Jakey” or “Hello, nice to meet you!” same goes for saying “Please” and “Thank You” in front of our LO’s. The more you do this behavior in front of them the more they will replicate your behaviors. (Keep in mind this goes for both the GOOD and BAD behaviors).
- Don’t Push Too Hard: We always want to make sure our kids feel safe and protected. Sometimes when we push them too far, too quickly they end up withdrawing. If your LO doesn’t want to do something- honor their emotions and how they feel. It’s great to even talk about the emotion in the moment. We don’t want our LO’s feeling scared or made to do something that they aren’t comfortable with- we always want them to feel protected and safe.
- But Also Don’t Be Overly Protective: We want our LO’s to have the confidence to experience new opportunities, meet new people and explore life on their own. If we become too overprotect/ over bearing then we can stunt their growth to learn and feel confident in their own right. Of course always be there to watch over and protect them when/if needed but also let them be their own little person and create their own beautiful experiences.
*BONUS* Compliment his Confidence: Be sure to let your child know how proud you are of him and his progress. Everyday I speak words of affirmation to Jakey telling him how smart, strong, confident, happy he is and how he is going to change the world and help so many people. Find your own little affirmations to speak to your LO’s and repeat it to them in the morning or at night- whenever you have some quiet time just the two of you to really connect, bond and share this special time.
Build Mamas Confidence:
- Affirm Yourself: Everyday is a new opportunity to love and feel good about yourself! We tend to behave in the way we view our own self-image. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you view yourself. Listening to daily affirmations and practicing daily self care and positive self talk is super important to getting your brain to accept your positive statements more quickly! Try speaking statements to yourself about how incredible you are as a mom, what you love about yourself and speak positively about other areas of your life where you want to grow and prosper.
- Do one thing that GROWS you everyday: Listen to a podcast, read an article, join a mastermind, hire a mentor/ coach, etc. You should be doing ONE thing every day scares you but also GROWS YOU! Remember greatness lives on the other side of FEAR. If you are doing something that scares you it means you are moving out of your comfort zone into greatness.
- Set Yourself Up For Success: “To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” — Denis Waitley Take those big juicy goals that you have and break them down into bite size pieces. Gain wins EVERYDAY and then STACK your wins! If you’re looking for more info on how to CREATE and CRUSH your goals- check out the my GOAL CRUSHING COURSE, HERE!
- Prioritize Self Care: Mamas, self care isn’t selfish- its a NECESSITY! Self-confidence depends on a combination of a few different things- good physical health, emotional health and social health. It’s hard to feel good about yourself if you don’t like how you look or feel. Looking good on the outside means having more energy, eating the foods that fuel you and feeling good on the inside. Honor ALL areas- the physical, emotional and social.
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Whether you compare how you look to your friends on FB or you’re compare your salary to your friend’s income, comparisons aren’t healthy. Let’s be honest, social media is the HIGHLIGHT reel of everyones life. Social media is like fools gold. It’s shiny, it looks pretty but it’s FAKE!! Remember you don’t need to compare yourself to people you owe nothing to on a platform that is MADE UP! Invest in you, stay in your own lane and remember not to compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20!
Have these tips helped you? Let me know! Let’s connect! Share with me how this has helped you or pass on to another mama who these tips would help! I can’t wait to hear from you!